Erik Larson

Oct 1, 2009

He Got Cougared, Volume One

I’m not sure why it’s “Volume One”, because I don’t intend on doing anything more than ferreting out instances of a young lad getting the Cougar Treatment in popular cinema, and plastering it on my blog in a shameless ploy to plaster instances of young lads getting Cougared on my blog. As it were.

So, then, Michael Berg (David Kross, later Ralph Fienes) gets royally Cougared by Hanna Schmitz (Kate Winslet) in The Reader, the 2008 movie based on the book by Bernhard Schlink. This movie is well-worth watching (it’s got Kate Winslet in it, for instance). It spite of yourself you’ll get sucked into it (there’s a loose pun here), with the inimitable Winslet and [insert some really spot on commentary here]. So there you have it. Volume One of what’s sure to be huge hit: He Got Cougared! God Bless him.

Now really fire it up:

Though it ruined his life, the memories oh the embers in this field of emotional ashes as Berg struggles with the older sexuality of Schmitz [insert really steamy stuff here] must give us pause. For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come (sequed into Shakespeare, for that artistic touch), when Schmitz, played by Kate Winslet (ignore the redundancy). And this all trails off. [Something about Andy Warhol]. But, really, Kate Winslet. The Reader. Cougar growls.